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reality is a matter of choice
I've just done a cull of my friends list, so I'm making this post public (first time in over a year. It's not going to become a habit, I'll say that for nothing).

If you're a victim of the cull, and think you don't deserve to be, please do comment. But I've probably cut you out for one of the following reasons:

1: You never post.
2: We never talk.
3: You've been on my friend list for ages and never added me back
4: You're a community that's now dead or of no interest to me.

I probably could have been harsher in my culling, but anyway.

Seriously, do comment if you think I've treated you unfairly. I know I would.

Hmm. 'Cull' is kind of a funny word, isn't it?

I feel: guilty guilty

14 things // do the thing

Happy birthday, tiggz!

7 things // do the thing

Happy birthday, cucumbersarnies!

That is all. (Except for the post I'm going to make after this one)

I feel: content content

1 thing // do the thing
This is the funniest site I have been to for a long time.

I feel: amused amused

1 thing // do the thing
*has much work to do*

I just wanted to clarify something. That entry the other day, about people who aren't talking to me, it wasn't a ruse to get more comments to my posts or anything like that. I've been getting comments fine. Anyway, I decided a while back that I wouldn't let that get to me. No, it was about the fact that there are specific people who I've heard little or nothing from for quite some time. Four, actually. Three of them have since come forward and said 'hiii', but one still hasn't, but, hey. They probably don't even realise I mean them.

Just so you know it wasn't a 'comment now!' thing.

Went to see Kill Bill Vol. 2 on Saturday. 'Twas good, as I would rightly have expected and Cut for spoilers for some reasonCollapse )

The dialogue, as you'd expect from a Tarantino screenplay, was sharp, witty and second to none. Apparantley he wants to do an animated prequel now. This reminds me of something, but I'm sure I don't know what. (Still. The Matrix was a far inferior film series to Kill Bill, and it is easy to compare them since they were borne out of the same kind of idea - basically a kung fu movie for 'our' generation).

But now, work. Essay. *sigh*. .

I feel: okay okay

7 things // do the thing
There are a large amount of you that I haven't heard anything from for an age. Well, okay, four, but still. You suck. Talk to me.

(Yep, that'll work)

Finally recovered from the mother of all hangovers. (Note to self: drinking ten vodka and cokes one after another in rapid succession is not a good idea, especially if you want to remember what you did, and not feel like shit the next day). Binge drinking, eh? I'm almost tempted to vow never to drink alcohol again, but we all know that that's never going to happen.

In other news, I want this keyboard.

Actually, that's pretty much it. And you who haven't spoken to me for ages, a pox on both your houses. (You know I'm joking, right?)

I feel: content content
I hear: Franz Ferdinand - Matinee (in my head)

8 things // do the thing
I'm bored. Entertain me.

(Demanding little bugger, aren't I?)

And because once again I suck at remembering birthdays (but it IS today, so, hey, that counts for something, right?):

Happy Birthday, dazeddaisy

I feel: bored bored

6 things // do the thing
Much work. Must do.


If I was rich, I'd employ someone to do it for me. Still, at least I can have uni workload support from littlexander and wastedfairy. Probably.

*sigh*. So what do I have to do? Not that it would mean anything to any of you, I suppose, but I have to write an essay about a specific genre of music. I've chosen electronica, but I haven't actually started to write it yet. It has to be in in three weeks. Which it will be, but I need to start, you know, writing it. I will. Also, much recording needs to be done, which is fairly simple I suppose, but I should really start getting around to actually doing it. And I need new manuscript paper, because it is a long time ago since I ran out.

And lurking on MSN is really getting my work done, isn't it? *cough*. Thankfully nobody's talking to me, although I keep getting tempted to click on their names and say 'hiiii', and then get distracted. Even though I'm already distracted by LJ. Meh. I suck. I'm such a procrastinator.

I should stress more, I think. But then, maybe not, because stress would lead to panic would lead to failure. Riding along calmly, because I know I'm going to finish it and do it right, is the way for me. Because I am good at this.

Am done now.

I feel: working working
I hear: Leftfield - Open Up

1 thing // do the thing
Proper entry to follow.

Look, I don't know how I managed to miss this on the day, but I did, and I suck.


Belated happy birthday, scourgeoe!

Am I forgiven now?
1 thing // do the thing
Hello everybody.

Time to answer some of those questions, then, eh? Well, only one person actually asked me any, but still, eh? There's still time for more. More, I say. More. Or, you know, not.

These were posed by corrupteroffire

1.) do you, or did you ever believe in the Easter Bunny?


2.)do you know why the sky is blue? *g*

Yes. It's because of the sun.

3.)What made you decide to get a lj?

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Also, I'd been writing a diary on paper since I was about 11, and thought that writing one online would be kind of the same, only faster and easier. Which it is.

4.) Have you ever engaged in an RPG and if so would you do it again?

RPGs, eh? You mean those things with plots like 'YOU are the Dungeon Keeper and must defeat the archmage Raxinfraxin and his band of killer orcs using the Rite of Tisket Tasket, but only after you have completed a series of seemingly pointless tasks in order to kill the three-headed monster Dixdastardlax and save from its clutches the voluptuous Princess Breasts. The people of The Land will help you, but beware, for some of them may be Raxinfraxin's teeth, given sinister life by the evil wizard. To defeat Raxinfraxin, you must find the ancient and powerful sword forged by the dwarf Stupidname in the Mines of Entirelypointless'?

Not so much.

5.)Have you ever felt like you wanted to quit everything you were doing and do something else, and if so what would you have done in an altrenate universe?

Everything I was doing? You mean the music, and that sort of thing? No. In an alternate reality, I'm still working in WH Smiths. I'd sooner stay where I am, thank you.

So, anyway, it's been four days since I last wrote something on here, and indeed since I was last at a computer with an internet connection (oh, how I miss broadband) at all, and the following things have happened:

1: I went to see Shaun Of The Dead
2: I ate some egg-shaped chocolate
3: I continued to exist

In other words, really rather not that much. But the film was good. And funny. And as I believe wastedfairy has already said, you Americans should go and see it when it comes out over there. Imagine, if you will, a cross between Love, Actually and 28 Days Later, the last two British films to do well over there, and then make it clever and funny. The film's leads, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, deserve worldwide acclaim. (Frost in particular delivering one of the finest comedy performances I have ever seen). When the stars of good British comedy converge together (it also starred Dylan Moran of the excellent Black Books and had blink-and-you'll-miss-them cameos from such luminaries as Martin Freeman and Matt Lucas), goodness ensues.

Except for Blackball, natch.

I'm pretty much done. Ask more questions. Well, you don't have to. But still.

Must burn new icons I've made to CD-ROM. Then I can post them. And enter them at whedonosity, which is run by eirefaerie and catmint, even though they'll lose for I am still fairly crap.


I feel: content content

5 things // do the thing

Happy birthday, corrupteroffire!

Sorry I missed it yesterday. *huggles*.

I feel: nostalgic nostalgic

1 thing // do the thing
Journal is going friends locked. For reasons which will be obvious to anyone reading the comments on my last public entry. If you want to hear me babble about whatever, add me now.

I feel: contemplative contemplative

1 thing // do the thing
and now all I want to do is to hear her voice, I want to hear her tell me she loves me, and only me, again. I don't want to face things without her, I really, really, really don't. I need somebody, I can't face this life alone, I just can't, not anymore, I used to think I wanted to be alone, to spend my life like that, but I don't. I want someone. I want her. I need her.


Gig is in *counts* three hours. Wish me luck, or something. In spite of everything, I'm still very much in the mood to play music. I love it. It's the only love in my life that hasn't let me down yet, it's the only constant, the only thing I can rely on.

Plus, I rule at organ solos. I have been nicknamed Stevie Wonder. I swear I'm not making this up.

I feel: gloomy gloomy
I hear: Gorillaz - 5/4

26 things // do the thing
It's over,
You don't need to tell me,
I hope you're with someone who makes you feel safe in your sleep,
And tonight,
I won't kill myself trying to stay in your life,
I got no distance left to run.

When you see me,
Please turn your back and walk away,
I don't want to see you,
'Cause I know the dreams that you keep,
That's where we meet,
When you're coming down,
Think of me here,
I got no distance left to run.

It's over,
I knew it would end this way,
I hope you're with someone who makes you feel that this life is a life,
One who settles down,
Stays around,
Spends more time with you,
I got no distance left to run.

I feel: crushed crushed
I hear: Blur - No Distance Left To Run

5 things // do the thing
cooked cheese is wrong. discuss.

I feel: complacent complacent

19 things // do the thing
I think I'm losing her.

I don't know how it happened, but it's happening.

Fuck life, fuck it right in the ear.

I feel: depressed depressed

6 things // do the thing

Happy birthday helygen!
Happy birthday, sarah_jay!

There we go. Hopefully that won't annoy anyone's friends' page. If it does, tough.
1 thing // do the thing
This week is going to be uber-busy.

I have three gigs with two different bands. I have homework to do. I have lectures to go to. And I have it all this week. Yes. Aside from today and probably Friday, I'm barely going to have a minute spare. Well, okay, I'm probably going to have several minutes spare, if you're going to get all literal on me, but you know what I mean. Busy. Expect another completely stressed out post on the Thursday.

Am looking forward to gigs, though, especially the third one as it's with a different band that's got a completely unique sound (*lots* of synth, some crazy fucking high pitched vocals, plenty of white noise, and a healthy dash of ska). It's a shame that everyone in that band, including me, has other projects on the go, because, while obviously that kind of sound isn't going to break the pop charts, it's still got something about it. I reckon we'll keep gigging with that around Perth.

I find myself very impressed with the music scene around here, actually. Remember I talked about The Twa Tams? Well, for all the Buffy fans amongst you, it's kind of the same as The Bronze, live music-wise. Very talented unsigned bands with a sound that seems somehow unique to this area. (Certainly most of the bands don't sound much like the ones I hear around Liverpool and Chester). Particularly impressive are Chiweapon, a three-piece with a Red Hot Chili's kind of sound, the bassist having Flea's style right down. Most of the bands doing the circuit around here are basically people out of college, but if I had to pick two that were going to 'make it', and I'm obviously not allowed to pick anything I'm involved in myself as that would be biased, I would pick them, and Mexico, who have already made a bit of a name for themselves after playing in a Battle of the Bands in London a couple of months ago. (Think The White Stripes, but heavier, and without a woman).

Odd as it may seem, Perth is a pretty happening place. I think it's a music college thing, though.

I have money. This is never bad. Because I don't just have money for food, I have a little extra as well. I'm not some kind of capitalist or anything, but this makes me happy.

Going home on Saturday. Squee!

This song (Heart Of The Sunrise by Yes) opens with exactly, but EXACTLY, the same riff as 'Parallel Universe' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Trust me. Download both and listen. I am right.

I feel: mellow mellow
I hear: Yes - Heart Of The Sunrise

2 things // do the thing

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, and furthermore, fucking *bollocks*.

now all i need to do is go out into an empty street and yell all that. then all the stress of today will be lifted.

I feel: stressed stressed

5 things // do the thing
someone on a football (or... hnnngh... 'soccer') forum said the following:

"Leeds aren't even in debt, they just have to pay back money".

If I was the editor of Private Eye... I would be a foot smaller, and bald, and about twenty years older, and much uglier, and called Ian, but anyway.

I feel: amused amused

3 things // do the thing
Today did not suck.

One of the bands I'm in (Summertime Revival, which is still the worst band name ever) played a gig in the middle of town, in front of Debenhams. There were other bands playing as well, it was all part of some college fundraising drive. It was fun. And, well, I enjoyed it anyway. We played six songs in all, three covers, three originals. Such a pity about the direction the founders of this band want to take it (weddings, formal dances, that kind of deal) because the originals are... pretty good. I'm not saying top ten or anything, but I am saying, good songs, good quality songs. Certainly the kind of good quality songs that, if you put twelve of them on an album, it would get good reviews in Q and Mojo. Especially Mojo, because they like retro-y stuff. Still, going the weddings etc. route will get me a decent amount of money, and will fulfill the promise I made to my father to be earning money through music by the time I was 25. It's only a pity he's not here to see it, but I'm not going to go there as that'll just make me all melancholy and stuff. Anyway, I have my electronica-esque band that I'm going to be starting soon. Well, I still have a singer. And possibly a bassist. And I was listening to someone in the rehearsal rooms this morning who had a similar synth playing style to me.

I wish a certain someone who should be able to guess who they are could have seen me play.

Actually, I wish everyone reading this could have seen it. Playing keyboards, especially soloing, that's the one time when I can completely lose myself, totally and utterly let myself go. Actually, being on stage in general does that. I'm a showperson, I think, I live to entertain and to perform.

In related news, Moira rocks, because she just gave me a spare ticket for the student party dooble tonight at the still amusingly named Twa Tams, and has also offered to buy me a couple of drinks, for I am, of course, skint, as any fule kno. I like the fact that I have friends like that who'll help me out when I'm in a fix, online and offline.

Anyway, people who tell me they're not pissed off with me when they blatantly are, are silly, but I love them anyway.

Last night I dreamed that Heather was a singer/songwriter, in much the style of Tori Amos, and she had a highly acclaimed album out. That was cool. Not that I'm disappointed that she's not, of course, that would be silly.

Am done.

I feel: creative creative
I hear: Bob Marley - Lively Up Yourself (in my head)

do the thing
Today is one of those days where I feel like gacking a quizlet instead of making a proper entry.


It's scourgeoe's fault, by the way.

Full name: Steven James Farrell
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?: Tarquin Fintimlinbimwhimbinlin Bus Stop F'tang F'tang Ole! Biscuit Barrel
Age: 24
If you could be any other age, what age would you be?: Um... I don't know.
Height: 6’2.
Shoe Size: 11.
Hair Color: brown
Eye Color: brown
Where do you live?: Perth
Do you like it there?: It's not bad at all, truth told.
What's one thing that makes you unique?:
What about your body are you most confident about?: My eyes, I suppose.
Most self-conscious about?: Me, naked.

~*~Do you...~*~

Like your appearance?: It's alright, I suppose, if you like that sort of thing.
Like your personality?: I could be more talkative in situations where me talking would be appreciated.
Think you're funny?: Not really.
Have a lot of friends?: A few.
Believe in aliens?: More or less.
Believe in love at first sight?: Yes and no. I don't believe that you can fall completely in love upon first sight, but you can feel the stirrings of those feelings.
Believe in astrology?: Of course, 12% of the world's entire population of 63 billion are going to have the exact same day. Makes perfect sense. What's not to believe? Seriously, though, I do believe the whole thing where different star signs have different personality types and such.
Have a boy/girl friend?: Yes. I have a wonderful and gorgeous Heather.

About how many friends do you have?: Good, close friends, about 12.
Who's your best friend(s)?: Heather.
Who can make you smile, no matter what mood you are in?: divadynamite, littlexander, _cinnamongirl_, crazyandfree and phoenix1081. And, of course, Heather. You'll find that she's the answer to a lot of these questions.
Which person do you PRETEND to be friends with but secretly hate?: Nobody. That would be fucking lame and deceptive.
Do any of your friends just piss you off?: occasionally.
Do you get sick of your friends easily?: nope.
If you were stranded on an island what would u bring?: Heather and music. And food. And drink.
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you are comfortable enough with to talk about almost anything? If so, who?: Well, Heather, again, obviously, also _cinnamongirl_, phoenix1081 and divadynamite on LJ, and Moira in reality.
If u were vicously tied to the rail road tracts because of a revengeful leprachaun and all of a sudden you hear toot toot what would your last word(s) before the train sadly enough ran u over be? : "Oh, bollocks".

Are you in love?: Intensely.
Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: Occasionally.
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: Um, that's a bit of an odd question. To be romantically attracted to someone there must be, for you at least, an element of physical attraction. I have been attracted to girls (mostly in high school, so ages ago now) that the rest of 'the lads' have deemed ugly, even though they blatantly weren't.
Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?: I think so.
Would you still carry out a relationship if you family absolutely hated the person you were dating? (See "Meet the Parents"): Clearly.

>~*~Would you like to have...~*~

A one-way ticket to Italy?: No thanks.
An ice-cream sundae?: Yes please. With the little sprinkles.
A jar of cream cheese?: Yes.
Aretha Franklin's attitude and her tell-you-off voice?: No, it would make me look and sound as camp as a row of tents at Christmas, with Graham Norton and Liberace in them, all with a TV installed playing a permanently looped tape of 'Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert'.
A trip around the world with nothing but the clothes on your back?: Add food and water and I'm in.
Your brother/sister go away somewhere for a really long time?: I have no brother or sister.
The lyrics to "Muskrat Love" permanently deleted from your memory?: Thankfully, I don't know this song, but I'll have the lyrics to "Mysterious Girl" permanently deleted from my memory instead.
Your mother's legs?: No. See, she's got all these thread veins and stuff. It's not pretty. Also, hers are much shorter than mine so it would look odd.
Your father's elbows?: that would be slightly morbid.
John Cusack?: No thanks.
An easy bake oven?: Meh, I like microwaves, even though I know they will fry my brain.

~*~Have you ever...~*~

Drank?: Have you met me?
Smoked?: No
Done drugs?: Um, once or twice.
Danced around the house wearing nothing but a towel? Not so much.
Told someone you loved them?: Yes.
Needed to tell somebody something but were afraid you couldn't trust them?: well I've been in situations where that's been the case, but I usually end up telling them the thing anyway.
Cut class?: Yes.
Got in a fight?: A few times in high school, but the time that injured me the most was when the fight wasn't anything to do with me and I just got in the way in trying to escape. Thankfully, the large scar across my chest seems to be fading now.
Felt suicidal: once.

~*~Right Now~*~
Listening to: absolutely nothing.
Watching: the screen.
Wearing: clothes.
Eating: nothing.
Thinking: "I need to finish this and Heather's email then get to class. Oh, and I should email littlexander to thank him for the present. I really don't want to do this class, I haven't done my homework. I really fancy a Cadbury's shortcake biscuit bar. Ooh. Shiny".
Talking to: nobody.
Feeling: fine.

~*~Past, Present & Future~*~
What is the craziest thing you've done in the past?: Me? Crazy?
If you could change one thing you have done in the last 24 hours, what would it be?: i don't know. not packing a drink yesterday and ending up dehydrated after a really long day, that would be one thing I'd have done differently.
If you could've been born at any point in time, when would you pick?: Somewhere around the renaissance, around the 16th century or so, when artistry was at it's peak.
Right now, what is your biggest regret?: Right now, not managing my money properly.
List some things you want to do before you turn 18: I already turned. I had achieved little by that age.
Do you want to get married?: possibly.
If so, at what age?: whenever.
Who do you want to marry?: Heather, of course. Damn, I shouldn't have said that in public, should I? *g*.
How will he propose to you?: Um... well I hope to God that no man ever proposes marriage. As for how I'd do it, well that remains to be seen. I have ideas.
Do you want to have kids?: maybe.
If so, how many?: one or two, I don't know.
What are you going to name your kids?: no idea.
If you found out you were going to die tomorrow, is there anything you would want to say or do?: I'd spend my last hours with Heather.
Best way to die?: Peacefully in my sleep. Aged 243.
Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?: yes.
If you had the choice to either go BACK 100 years or go FORWARD 100 years, which would you choose?: forward. I want to see what happens next.

~*~I Wish...~*~

I had...: money
I didn't have...: to pay rent.
My life were more...: adventurous.
My life were less...: ordinary.
I could...: shimmy like my sister Arthur.
My best friend(s)...: were here now.


What was your most embarassing moment ever?: I'd sooner not say.
If your house suddenly caught on fire and you could save 3 things, what would you save?: My laptop, my CD player and my CDs. I know that CDs count as individual things, but I'm not picking just one. I'd just grab whatever I could.
What would you throw into the fire?: Um... nothing.
Is there something that you totally oppose? (Ex. Abortion, gays, biracial dating etc): Homophobia and racism.
Favorite Shoes?: um... black?
Have you ever owned a pair of pants that made you feel like you could do anything when you put them on?: ooh. magic pants. No.
How easy is it to make you laugh?: Depends on your type of humour.
Do you laugh when you hear the number 69?: Yes. I am twelve. I also laugh when I hear the words 'penis' or 'vagina'.
Would you like to be cloned? (I'm not offering, I'm just asking): Nobody gets to be me except me.
What is your opinion of cloneing? (not like im planning on trying): Um, whatever.


I feel: chipper chipper

3 things // do the thing
Hello there. Well, I was going to thank everyone individually for the birthday happies but... there were so many of them that it would be much easier to just say a big thank you in a single entry, and consolidate all the individual thank yous in that. So...

Thank you

You all rock, seriously. So... I didn't actually do anything for my birthday, on account of having no money, but, still. I'm being pulled in all fucking directions lately. I don't know why. I mean, I don't know what's making me feel like that, but I do. I feel completely... I don't know. I'm rushed off my feet with all these different bands and things. I have three gigs coming up with two different bands, one of which is completely underrehearsed. But that's not what it is either. My head is such a mess right now, it has been for a few weeks. I don't know where it's come from. I have clarity on very few things in my life, maybe only one, and if you don't know what that is, then don't ask me because I'll laugh in your face and say 'do you actually read my livejournal or not?' and then you'll be really embarrased and have to go away in shame. *sigh*. I feel fucked up. God only knows why, and he's not saying.

I feel: indescribable indescribable

do the thing
I'm sorry, but this song is fucking cool.

Have class now. Will write larger update later, probably. Thanks for all the birthday happies from everyone, although I am thanking you individually as I see them. But, you know.

Anyway. Yes. I like this song.

I feel: happy happy
I hear: Scissor Sisters - Take Your Momma

1 thing // do the thing
Today is my birthday.

Wish me happies.

I feel: amused amused

22 things // do the thing